Loneliness is very different from being alone. Whilst some of us choose to spend time alone and never feel lonely. Some of us can be surrounded by people and still feel isolated and lonely. This is particularly so when the only contact is verbal and impersonal. The reason for this appears to be that such shallow contact is both physically insubstantial and so... emotionally meaningless

Experts tell us: " that as Human Beings we have an inbuilt need for the warm comforting glow we experience from knowing that we are unconditionally accepted and loved". Accordingly, knowing we are unconditionally accepted and loved has to be one of the most fundamental of all our emotional needs. It therefore follows that in the absence of this unconditional acceptance and love we can become isolated, Experiencing isolation we can become overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness and rejection. This causing us to believe that we really are unworthy of acceptance and/or love.

Those of us suffering from loneliness can be hyper-sensitive to rejection. This feels like being in an heightened semi-permanent state of expectation of being rejected. In other words we come to expect it. This over sensitivity can transform the slightest snub (actual or perceived - intended or unintended) into a very painful proof that we really are not worth knowing. This "sought after rejection"

serves to entrench and enhance feelings of worthlessness.

Feelings of worthlessness are dangerous. They can lead people into hurtful relationships where their feelings of worthlessness are further entrenched and enhanced. These feelings can also keep them in such damaging and abusive relationships.

 

Many people find acceptance through an institutional identity: Armed forces. Police etc.  Still others find acceptance in the fellowship of religious and political movements and assorted cults and belief systems - including psychiatry.