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Feelings of loneliness and worthlessness are frequently linked with suicide.
Because of the nature of loneliness this page is also featured in the EMOTIONAL FIRST
AID KIT
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Whilst some people choose to spend time alone they may never feel lonely.
Whilst at the same time, others can be surrounded by people and still feel isolated and lonely. Especially, when the only
contact is verbal and impersonal. This shallow contact is both physically insubstantial and emotionally meaningless
As human beings we have an inbuilt need for the warm comforting glow we experience from knowing that we are
unconditionally accepted and loved. In the absence of this most fundamental of all of our emotional needs; we can become isolated
and haunted by feelings of loneliness and the belief that we are not worthy of acceptance and/or love.
Human Beings suffering from loneliness can be hyper-sensitive to rejection. This feels like being in an heightened semi-permanent
state of expectation of being rejected. This over sensitivity can transform the slightest snub (actual or perceived - intended
or unintended) into a very painful proof that we really are not worth knowing. This "sought after rejection"
serves to entrench and enhance feelings of worthlessness.
Feelings of worthlessness are dangerous. They can lead people into hurtful relationships where their feelings of worthlessness
are further entrenched and enhanced. These feelings can also keep them in such damaging and abusive relationships.
Many people find acceptance through an institutional identity: Armed forces. Police etc. Still others find acceptance
in the fellowship of religious and political movements and assorted cults and belief systems - including psychiatry.
Others can become so brutalised that the simply accept their worthlessness and abandon themselves.
The usual methods of self abandonment are alcoholism and drug addiction.
These "dead ends" are frequently short cuts to homelessness, begging, prostitution and criminality. All
self-harming activities suggesting a complete and utter indifference to whatever befalls them. Clearly it seems that the belief
that no one cares for them, can trigger a similar self-hate recklessness to themselves.
Others sink into the darkness which is mental illness and take their own lives whilst there.
Isolated people need to talk with attentive, non-judgemental listeners simply to get their unhappiness
off their chests. Think of this as being the first step in the recovery process. With the best will in the world, when we
are called upon as listeners, to suggest the next step which should be taken, we almost invariably suggest sufferers to visit
their family doctors.
All too often the doctor will seek to address the anxiety and depression associated with loneliness
by 'treating' with medication. It seems to me that prescription drugs appear only to address the symptoms and not the underlying
cause.
It is said that counselling provides a more holistic view of a person - past and present, body and
mind - and aim to reduce the feelings of isolation through self understanding and release of past pains that cut them off
from others - and themselves.
It seems that the more we people are packed together, the greater the distance between us becomes.
However, loneliness is one of those things which we can all do something about.
To eliminate the suffering caused by loneliness, we simply need to be nice with each other.
CUDDLES CAN COMBAT LONELINESS
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